When I was pregnant I had the BEST intentions to be the most AMAZING mom and I gave it my best effort and then I discovered that my child LIKES happy meals almost as much as I like carefree dinner.
- I will NOT co-sleep
I know what you’re all thinking.. WHO DIDN’T SAY THAT! Co-sleeping or otherwise known as the monster woke up at 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, for a feed and I fell asleep at 12, 1, 2, 3, 4 while feeding. Co-sleeping is scary, but when you are a mom you can barely sleep without being SUPER aware.. or I couldn’t every time he moved I felt it. To be honest some days you are so tired and your child won’t go in the bassinet or the crib so easy, so you do what works. My monster is 15 months old today, so I guess hes still alive.
2. My child will watch NO television
So this lasted for all of 10 mins in my house. I love television, I am currently in a fight with my husband over cancelling our cable, my argument : TV is my hobby, like your hockey. His argument: doesn’t matter I’m the wife. But for real, my child is go go go go go from the minute he gets in the door and I have to make dinner, walk the dogs, bathe and feed this monster. Right now the only thing that preoccupies his time is playing on his slide, or on the kitchen table, or watching Monsters University or Finding Dory. I’m okay with it, my child lives a balanced life, his daycare is amazing and he has tons of play time, and we go for walks to the park or swimming daily. I understand the greater issue, but I believe balance is key.
3. I ALWAYS said I’d NEVER be one of those moms who spends all there time discussing their child and posting 1000 of pictures.
First let me start by saying, if you came here hoping for a fashion blog, you best be leaving. I started this blog so I COULD talk about my kid. Wow, where the times have changed. If you don’t like looking at my cute child kindly, unfollow, unfriend or simply walk away. Being a mom is the first time I felt I was good at something and its because I simply have kept this human alive for 15 months!! No but in all seriousness becoming a mother I found myself. Mostly all I have to say for this one is, My mom friends don’t mind.
4. I don’t understand woman who never want to have sex!
That’s right folks, I said the above sentence.. And my 28 year old, tired as F self gets you. BOY DO I GET YOU! Being a mom is hard, add being a wife, a dog walker and a professional cleaning lady all on top of my full time job. There are days when you are just too tired, and its okay. Weeknight sex is now is a rarity, weekends I’m DTF if there ain’t swimming lessons.
5. I will NOT buy a million toys and fill my house with them
First, you actually don’t buy them all. Second when you haven’t slept in 18 hours and you are rotating between the mamaroo, the vibrating chair and tummy time to drink your coffee and someone says pick one. You simply reply with do you want your left eye or your right. My child has a lot of things sure he could have less, But he enjoys all the things. We were also extremely blessed because people bought us a lot of what our son has.
6. I will NOT feed my children junk food.
Well guess what pre-mother self your child really enjoys smarties, and mc donalds french fries. NOW stop before you judge. My child doesn’t eat these things every day, but he has enjoyed them on occasion. Again I like balance, so when my kid eats only raisins for dinner I don’t stress I just make sure the next day is filled with goodness. One thing I have learned is little ones know there body and they know what they need. Some days they need a small snack and the next day they made need a big meal. Don’t stress yourself out, my husband and I grew up eating Mc Donalds and I like to think we are pretty normal.
7.My child will NEVER play with my phone
Okay so you all remember that parent walking around the mall, or sitting at the restaurant who passed their child their phone and they sat there and played. I had never done it in that scenario until we were recently visiting my inlaws on the island. Our sons food was forgotten at a restaurant I KNOW! Who forgets the fricken child’s food!!! Needless to say the Monster came out and he was extremely grumpy, so I did it, I turned on Monsters University in the middle of the the restaurant and it happened he re morphed back to our little angel. Therefor this one I gave up on too!
8. I will not let my child cry..
For the first 4 months of my child’s life, he slept in our room, in the bassinet feature of our playpen and our bed, nightly. If you have ever slept with a child you know how restless your sleep is as a mom. It is the worst, my child had no nap routine I went with the flow. Then I did some research and read about how children thrive on routine, not to mention he was now crawling and I was terrified of him getting out of our bed. SO I did it I sleep trained my child by letting him cry it out.It was absolutely and totally the worst week of my life. I usually sat outside his door playing bingo and crying. But slowly and surely we did it and after my first full 8 hours of sleep for both of us and a routine for naps we now live in a much more sane household.
9. I will not spend a fortune on children’s clothing they grow too fast.
This one I blame on all my friends who make cute ass baby clothes. Yes that’s right its your fault. Your cute little harems, and leggings and soft t shirts and cute little tuques. You have made me do it. But for real Kids are too cute and they make way too much cute stuff. So I indulge in all the cuteness, we shop mostly local to support local mom and pop shops. Which we will be featuring. Also my next child will live in these super cute hand me downs. Sorry baby 2.
10. I will still have time for myself.
NOW, I know what your thinking : Bitch you was naive as F*CK! Its true I was I daydreamed of sleeping when baby slept, OR waking up before baby and making myself look super cute. YEAH RIGHT! My husband was lucky if I put a clean T shirt on or got out of my pajamas some days. I BARELY slept when baby slept because if I did, who would clean the house? Walk the dogs? Feed the hubby and I? Being a mother is being selfless. It takes every ounce of you, and about 70 % of your spouse. Sure there are people who make it work, but for me, once Pearce was born nothing else mattered. My shirt covered in puke and my 2 day dirty hair, messy house didn’t matter because my monster smiled, or giggled or took his first steps and everything else ceased to exist.