When I announced my pregnancy on Facebook – (my husband thought it was a silly thing to do) – We had very few friends who had children. I had a few girlfriends message me that they were pregnant and keeping it quiet still, and I had a few girlfriends who had already announced.
So I was blessed in the fact that I had people to talk to about this, some of these people only had me. These people became my safe place, a place for me to go to with my concerns, my insecurities and my anxiety about motherhood, pregnancy and everything in between. For me it made my pregnancy experience so much better, sometimes in pregnancy your feelings aren’t all wonderful beautiful thoughts. Sometimes your scared and overwhelmed and knowing someone is going through that with you is probably the most reassuring and settling feeling you can feel.
When my son Pearce was born we lived in New Westminster with my father in law as we searched for our first home. I have never felt so alone, secluded and overwhelmed in my life. Don’t get me wrong I have a loving partner, my husbands family came to stay when our son was first born, but at the time my car was broken down, we lent our car to the family visiting and I was so far away from my family and friends. The Fraser Valley is a weird place, people don’t tend to venture from mission to Vancouver or new west regularly so I didn’t have many visitors. So I reached out to my support system I had created through social media and it really got me through those first 3 months with Pearce in New West until we moved.
It was during this time, I created my network, my support system my mom village, The Squad. My mommy group was vast, it was widely distributed and it grew really quickly. I am not sure if it was the age I had reached in life, how small my home town was, or maybe something in the water but everyone I knew started to have babies. But it seemed we all connected through this new stage together! I often talked to moms, had them ask me a question and then I would message other moms for answers or vice versus. Finally I thought why not make a Facebook group where we can all talk privately about our concerns, in a respectful manner and bond with each other. I started “From 1 Mom 2 Another” Its a private group on Facebook that you have to be added into (this makes it so that outside members can not see and giving privacy to moms and allowing them to be open and honest!) I started by adding 25 of my mom friends, that I already knew, met at the hospital, met through friends and then they added their friends – I am sure people have left feeling the group gives them nothing – But we currently have 193 members and I lean on these people for more than they know.
This group is my strength on a hard day, my high five on a good day and my back bone when I feel weak. I don’t know what I would do without this support system, there is something about listening to a voice of someone going through the same thing at this moment that is so much more comforting then advice from people who did it years past sometimes.
While I was on Maternity leave many of the moms were also on leave, so we planned a few outings to meet one another and put some faces to the names. Our first few outings were just the ducky swims in mission. Then we did a few walks in the lower mainland with babies and dogs. A few us even had a few wine nights at each others houses where we brought food and our tiny toed kiddos and talked and played games until Mom bed time – Aka approx 10 pm.
In this group, I have seen kindness in a world where kindness feels rare. I have watched Mothers build their small business and be able to stay home and provide for their family. I have watched mothers on their weight loss journey. I have gotten a million ideas on how to be a better mother to my child. But most importantly, the Mom Squad I am surrounded by has been there for me when I felt nobody else was, or could be.
If you are a mother and wish to be a part of this group, please message me so that we can add you to our squad/village of mothers.