I knew for Mother’s Day I wanted to write a special blog. In my life I am surrounded by many amazing mothers. I have my own mother who is my best friend, my rock – basically my first call for everything. Then I have my mother in law, an amazing woman who I have gotten to know over the 10 years I have been with her son and whom has taught me many important things; how to love her son, how to knit (I am not very good), and how to show unconditional love from a distant place. Then I have my Step Mom, who is a strong, caring woman who takes very good care of my dad, and who brought with her 2 amazing men with their own families. Most recently we also had Chris’s dad re-marry and I was given a Step-Mother in law, who brought with her a son and who has helped my father in law make more time for himself and his family (He has always been a crazy workaholic). Plus I have a sister and sister-in-law who are amazing mothers, grand mothers, grandmother in-laws and many friends who are also great moms!
I am truly blessed by my surroundings, all the mothers in my life are strong, caring, and who are always there to lend an ear, to share some advice and to simply let me vent. This blog is going to be all about the mom’s who influence me the most – my moms. I will start with my own Mother — Felisa Craig, known to most as Lisa. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be my Mom. I would have all my friends over and play “office” and I was Lisa the Successful real estate agent who had 4 kids and who could do it all. That’s who my mom is, the one who does it all; She puts food on the table, she worked long hours, made sure all the bills were paid and that we all had new clothes, shoes that fit and all the permission slips were signed. Four kids is no easy task, I struggle daily with just 1. There were so many things I wanted to ask my Mom about being a mother, So here goes :
- What were your biggest fears when you were about to become a mom?
Whether I would do a good job, having all the little voices in the background telling me how I should do it — if I didn’t listen would it be okay?
- What was the biggest challenge for you being a mom?
Having enough time for each kid.
- If you could freeze time and go back to an age with each of your children what age would you choose?
Under 3, best time, best giggles.
- While raising your children what was your favourite thing to do in our absence?
Enjoy the silence – it was rare.
- What advice do you give expecting mothers?
Do not wish for the milestones, they will come, just enjoy each day. Don’t compare your children to others or books, no 2 children are the same.
- If you could go back and change anything what would it be?
Allow my children to follow their passions and not what we wanted of them
- What was the experience like becoming Nana?
Amazing, overwhelming, gratifying that one of your children gave you a precious gift to share with you.
- What is the best part about being Nana?
Love the hugs, the kisses, the giggles, each one is a gift from someone who you love, who gave you something new to love back.
When I was a kid, my favorite memories are of all my family together, whether it be sitting at the table on Sunday with our friends who had slept over, or just the family. Mom making her special pancakes, Dad entertaining everyone with the story of how they met. Or going to Stanley park, and Gastown, walking around going to the old spaghetti factory, and going to the CD shop and getting a new CD. My parents always did their best to give us their full attention, they didn’t talk about work or talk about politics, they talked to us about our week, or our challenges. This is something that I know is a struggle for my husband and I as there is so many more distractions now than there was then. I am thankful for the childhood to which my parents gave me. I am thankful for the memories. It’s funny because reading my Mom’s answers I really feel like her struggles like having enough time are what holds me back most about having more, Will there be enough time for more? But my parents always gave us time and though the time alone with our parents wasn’t as often it was deeply cherished. I am so thankful for my Mom, I can’t imagine my life without her. She is truly the strongest woman I know, determined and methodical, with always more to give.
Next Mrs Laura Vaughn, My mother in law. Where do I begin? Laura lives in Ontario so we do not see each other too often but we talk at least a few times a week. I think seeing my husband and my mother in law together is what made me know I would love being a mother to a boy. The bond seems to never go away. My husband and is mother have a strange bond and I am sure it leads back to the hockey rink, he has an intense desire to not let his mother down and to make her proud. Each thing he does he calls his mom to tell her about. At first I didn’t understand their bond, I often thought maybe it’s because she’s far away. Then Pearce was born and I understood it, he’s her little boy, her first-born. I imagine I will be the same, always holding on to my little boy. Laura is a strong woman who works incredibly hard, her two children live in BC so she is constantly making trips out here, or bringing us out there, spoiling us with presents and sending a card for each occasion. She never forgets a birthday, a housewarming, an anniversary, there is always a card in the mail. Laura and I are very alike in that way, very thoughtful. When I married her son this summer, Laura was meticulous about the details, she made our invitations, our programs, our wine labels. She kept me on track with all of the tasks sending me reminders. Then when she came to town, she took me to a florist and she bought me the flowers for my bouquet. When your planning a small wedding these things seem pointless or they did to me, I thought why waste money on flowers, they just die. But the truth is I will probably keep my bouquet forever and Laura knew this. Laura is like me in that all the small details matter, when you go to visit you have a basket of toiletries, from the luffa, to the travel deodorant. I asked Laura the same questions I asked my mom knowing that these questions would bring us closer and give others some understanding of what the mom’s before us thought.
- What were your biggest fears when you were about to become a mom?
I never feared becoming a mother, I feared doing the job properly and childbirth.
- What has been the biggest challenge being a mother?
I was extremely lucky when I had both my children that I could either take them to work or stay home with them till they went to school. When my son was born I had to balance keeping him quiet and entertained as my husband was a short-haul truck driver and worked odd hours. When my daughter was born my biggest challenge was trying to juggle my time and love between the two of them.
- If you could freeze time at any age for your little ones which age would you choose?
Frozen 4 and 2 and living in Ontario surrounded by love of a very large extended family. I still look back at this time and consider it the best time of my life.
- What challenges have you encountered while raising your children?
My biggest challenge raising my kids was being in BC away from my family. In a time with no social media, crazy long distance prices. This was a very hard adjustment.
- If your children were to name something you say often what would it be?
I need a coffee
- When raising your children what was your favorite thing to do in their absence?
reading a novel or a good soak in the tub
- What advice do you give expecting mothers?
Read everything you can, take advice as it is given and forget it all. No one person is right, no one is wrong. Only you know your child, Trusts your instincts but remember the advice givers mean well.
- Seeing your children now as adults what things are you most proud of that you did to help them become the person they are today?
I am very proud of how strong and independent my children are. When they were growing up we allowed them to make decisions for themselves. We felt we provided them with the tools to make the right decisions. They did make some wrong decisions along the way and we never punished them per say, but gave them support they needed to turn things around.
- What was the experience like becoming Grandma?
I have never in my lifer been so emotional as I was when my grandchildren were born. Each experience very different. I refused to leave my Daughter when she was in labor and spent every minute waiting and worrying. When young Sawyer debuted I was overcome with tears of joy and exhaustion. Worried for Colette, There is nothing more upsetting than knowing your child is in pain and you can do nothing to help. When my son’s son was born earlier than planned I missed all the text messages because of the time difference. I woke up to 30+ messages and I cried my eyes out for the fact that I wasn’t there when he needed me to be. And also for missing one of the biggest moments of his life. My daughter is due with her second and I am sure it will be very different as well
** since this was written Sadie May Clarke was born and was 3 days early, Laura also missed the birth of Miss Sadie who came very quickly. Colette did an amazing job giving birth after arriving at the hospital only 1 hour before. We couldn’t be happier to have our first niece**
- How do you feel about being a grandma?
I love being a Grandma almost as much as being a mom. My children and grandchildren are my world. I love watching them grow before my eyes and I see so much of my children in my grandchildren. I wish I was closer so I could be more involved. Maybe one day!
When I first met Laura, She called me and told me she had searched my entire Facebook page, (I will probably do the same to any girl in Pearce’s life) and that she wanted to meet me. It wouldn’t be for a few years till we met. But Laura was very welcoming of me, we have shared many memories over the years, from me helping Laura get dressed in her wedding dress at her wedding, to decorating the hall for Chris and My wedding. Laura’s is a loving and expressive mother. I see so much of me in Laura and I know that’s why Chris loves me. I know that Laura is always only a call away for us and I know we are incredibly blessed to have such amazing mothers in our life.
Our two steps mom are also amazing mothers, amazing cooks, and always make us feel very welcome in their home. They take the time to stay up to date on our life, and to make our dad’s extremely happy. Chris and I are blessed to have so many people in our lives who love us and love our children as their own grandchildren. Mother’s day isn’t just for our moms, it’s for our step moms, for our all the other moms.
I want to take a moment to tell all the mothers who have lost a child, no matter the circumstances that just because your child is no longer with us, doesn’t mean you should not celebrate today, You were a mother the day your child was conceived, whether you never met your child, you spent a few days together or you had years. You were a mother, you are a mother, and your incredibly strong, empowering and I have so much respect and admiration for you and all that you have gone through. Remember that we think about you, we celebrate you as well today. Happy Mother’s day. This video was shared by Today’s Parent, I urge you to watch it so that you can better understand what these mothers go through.
To lighten the mood, I will also share a video about what us mothers are looking for this Mother’s Day. I hope you all have a fantastic day, remember that today is all about your love for your child and the incredible things you do for them. May today be a day for you. Video By Whats Up Mom’s