Hospital Bag

As many of you know I am in my third trimester and have been spending the past few weeks getting my hospital bag ready, and this involves unpacking and repacking a few times. Making lists of things to pick up, and things to add, and taking out things I have changed my mind about only to re-add them later – typical indecisive pregnant lady thoughts.

When I gave birth to my son I went super basic, and my mom had to bring me stuff from her house because there were so many things I didn’t think of. But I’ve decided to share with you what I am bringing, and what I will be using from the hospital

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Mom’s Bag: 

  1. This time I opted for a house coat, last time we had so many visitors come to the hospital, Pearce was a bit of a traumatic birth, and it was really uncomfortable to be nursing, and having all my husbands friends around, and just sitting in a hospital gown or my mothers night-gown she brought me which was not nursing friendly. I got my house coat from Pink Blush Maternity, I went for a mid-length one and am really pleased with the quality.
  2. As stated below it was really difficult to breast feed in the night-gown my mom brought me and the last thing I wanted to wear was pants LOL. So I opted this time for 2 night gowns. One black one that is a tank top style from the Gap, and One that is a T-shirt Style from Thyme Maternity, Both will be great for breast-feeding and are long enough that I feel comfortable and aren’t too thick as I tend to run hot even when I am not pregnant!
  3. I also packed a pair of flip-flops – for showering at the hospital, and a pair of slippers for walking around at the hospital. – no specific type or brand
  4. I packed my favorite pillow and put an extra pillow case on it (that’s black – self-explanatory)
  5. When I gave birth to Pearce I did not buy ANY nursing bra’s prior, my thought was that I don’t want to spend the money and not be able to nurse, as I know so many woman who struggled with this. This time I purchased a few soft ones from Amazon, (since my boobs changed so much after the initial engorgement I will wait to buy any wire or supportive ones till that happens). I purchased a 4 pack of nursing bra’s from Amazon, they came with back extenders which is so nice when you first give birth. They were 4 for $39.99 which is pretty hard to beat (black, pink, beige and white)!
  6. I always like to pack my own towel and face cloth, just because I do like to shower after giving birth and having one from home just makes you feel more comfortable, and I have an obsession with washing my face with really hot water with a face cloth a few times a day.
  7. I packed a going home outfit – A pair of baggy sweat pants, a t-shirt and a sweater, nothing fancy, Comfort is key for me. As well as Warm Socks for the cold hospital floor when my slippers are too far away.
  8. Nursing pillow, I just have a jolly jumper one that I got when I was pregnant with Pearce, I didn’t find that I used it too much, except for at the hospital

Toiletry Bag:

  1. Loofa – This is self-explanatory, I bring a new loofa whenever we go anywhere.
  2. Earth Mama Herbal Perineal Spray – I didn’t have this spray with my son but I opted for it this time, just knowing how things feel down there before and after labor, so Far I have found it really helpful.
  3. K’Pure Smooch Lip Balm , K’Pure Get Closer Deodorant  & K’Pure Keep Going spray
  4. So Luxury Sitz Bath – I packed this as I plan to put it in my spray bottle for my bottom bits after labor!
  5. Then I packed your regular travel toiletries

For My Hub:

  1.  Change of Clothes – with Extra socks
  2. I Packed a sweat shirt this time for him as last time he was very cold.
  3. Snacks – I made some pumpkin muffins and froze them that we will grab on our way out the door and other snacks I know he will like
  4. Toiletries
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For The Baby:

  1. I grabbed the Baby Starter Kit from K’Pure Naturals as it came with everything I would want for the hospital, I have used the sleepy time bath stuff on my son since he was an infant. The Numpfer baby cloth is so incredibly soft compared to what the hospital provides.
  2. I packed 4 Sleepers, my last birth we were in the hospital for a few days so I wanted to pack a few to be safe
  3. I packed So Luxury Coco Oat Bath  – Depending on babes skin I may use this instead of the K’Pure sleepy time.
  4. I packed 2 pairs of socks, and 2 pairs of hand mits to cover babe from scratching
  5. I packed 4 diapers and a pack of wipes – I plan on using the diapers from the hospital so these were just extra.
  6. I packed 1 Muslin receiving blanket (I always used this as a breast-feeding shield with my first), 2 regular cotton receiving blankets, and 1 blanket to go over the car seat
  7. Take Home outfit for girl and Take home outfit for boy – I like to pack a different outfit for each gender so its obvious what we have in the picture. This time I got the outfits from Jax and Lennon.
  8. Nipple leaking pads – its unlikely that I will be leaking at the point of leaving the hospital because my milk most likely won’t have come in yet, but they’re packed just in case
  9. I also packed little knit skates we got made for my son, we didn’t know the gender of my son either so we had Pink, and blue laces made so I have packed them as well for babe to come home in. Below is a picture of the one I got in case its a boy, But I also got a matching bow so it can work for both!

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Its getting down to the final days of this pregnancy and I am so excited to meet this little bean and find out if it’s a boy or a girl, and to just really take some time to bond as a family of 4. Whether baby comes early, on time or late, I know that it is going to be an experience all its own!

xOx Chelsea 

Absence

Some of you may have noticed that it has been awhile since I have written. This year has brought so many amazing things into my life, and so many overwhelming feelings that I was not prepared to feel.

I discussed in my last blog that I suffer from social anxiety, and after writing it I had so many friends reach out and tell me they had no idea. I thought writing about how I was feeling would be therapeutic and help me to better deal with what I was going through. But the truth is that it did and it didn’t.

To start, I don’t want to say that it didn’t help to write about it, because it did, I think the problem was that I wasn’t ready to deal with them. The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster. From the highest of highs, to the lowest of lows, the truth is that life is hard. It isn’t always easy and people come into your life and leave your life, and things happen that have ripple effects. Sometimes when you get everything you’ve always wanted you aren’t prepared to not feel complete? – Let me explain.

From the moment I became a mother to our beautiful little boy, I felt a sense of meaning, that I finally knew what I wanted from life, what I needed and that I had found something that really made me happy – I couldn’t wait to do it again! Flash forward 2.5 years and after many discussions with my husband, friends who have multiples, we tried and we got pregnant. It was all I had wanted, but I couldn’t explain why this didn’t make me the happiest person in the world. So many people long for babies, and try and try and it doesn’t happen or suffer loses, and we were truly blessed that this time around trying, it happened right away. We are going to be a family of 4 – what I wasn’t prepared for was the feeling of loss. Sometimes gaining one more means that you have to mourn the loss of an only child, you have to mourn the loss of time, and you have to admit that getting pregnant at a time when you’re not emotionally healthy can be hard.

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This year has been one of the hardest in a long time. I felt the best way to deal with it, wasn’t to pretend my life was perfect and continue writing blogs, when I didn’t have my heart in it. I didn’t want to pretend on social media that I was this incredibly happy person, when the truth is most days I didn’t feel that way. We are gearing down to the end of this pregnancy, and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. The morning sickness has finally ended, I will be going on leave at the end of the week and I know it couldn’t come at a more perfect time. The aches and pains are coming on stronger, and I know this means our little bundle is coming soon. My family has gone through so much the past few months and I know we are ready to bring this baby into this family with happy hearts. I know that it won’t be easy, or all be good days but I think I am finally emotionally healthy to bring this baby. Part of me thinks I needed each one of these bad days, these struggles, these lessons to get to this point – part of me thinks it was too much to deal with. But I am so excited for the future.

My absence from the blog was really good for me, as much as It brings me pleasure and fulfillment in writing sometimes its nice to step away, not put so much on yourself to enjoy the family time, the toddler snuggles, the married life and not put extra pressure on things. I have tried to spend as much time as possible really enjoy Pearce before our time together is shared. I think this for me will be the hardest, I have no idea what our future brings or what being a mom of 2 is all about but I am so excited to find out.

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Until baby’s arrival later next month, I plan on enjoying snuggles with the toddler, and puppies. Possibly a date night with the hub, and definitely some oreo cookies dipped in milk.

Tata For Now Friends ❤ 

xOx Chelsea

The hardest blog I’ve ever written

It’s been a few months since I wrote a blog, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to talk about it. But it was a hard few months, and I feel like I need to explain myself.

When I was younger I suffered a traumatic event that caused me to develop social anxiety. It was extremely bad and slowly through counseling I was able to make it better. It’s been over 10 years since this happened and I found it coming back these past few months. Sometimes this consumes me, and makes me a very secluded person. I am not sure what triggered it these past few months, but it got very bad.

I think it started in December, the looming date of moving into a home I didn’t like. For the first time in our relationship, I let my husband make a huge decision for us on his own. Selling our first home I was ready for, or so I thought. Then we bought a home that to me didn’t feel like home. We moved into our New home in January and I felt incredibly lost. We went from staying in our friends beautiful brand new basement suite to living in a home with a kitchen with only 2 drawers. No junk drawer – how would I survive. Slowly we started to put our stamp on the home. Although now I am really starting to like the home and I didn’t feel better.

I am anxious about every social outing I attend, my husband is an incredibly social person and thrives in these settings and I feel like I could stay home and be safe.

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Then came February, we found out we were expecting our second child. I was so excited to be pregnant. We had just started trying and I had wanted this for over a year. But this pregnancy has been rough. I have been sick, exhausted and more sick. I didn’t know it was possible to hate every food group. The worst part is the heightened sense of smell has been so incredibly tough to deal with because every smell makes me want to vomit. It was so hard to tough through when nobody knew. I felt like crap all the time and couldn’t tell people why. My incredible husband stepped up so much, taking on so much. He cleaned, he cooked, he cared for our child, while I barely managed to make lunches and do bed time.

It was a weird experience for both of us, I felt great my entire pregnancy with Pearce. I never felt sick, and never felt sad. It made me wonder if I was even happy to be pregnant. We are now in our second trimester and I am still sick, but slowly my energy has come back, and I have started to feel better. Pregnant woman go through so many changes physically, that sometimes we forget just how hard everything is for us emotionally.

I spent the last 5 months feeling really low, and I know it started before December. But I have pushed so many people away and hurt a lot of friendships and relationships with loved ones, just because sometimes It feels better to feel alone. (For a second anyway and then it just feels incredibly lonely). It wasn’t until I talked to my sister and told her how I was feeling internally that I realized my social anxiety was back full force. It feels like everyone is out to get me, Like no good can come from anything. Like nobody truly likes you. The insecurities and sadness that I have felt, and pushed onto those near me has been so hard to deal with, most days it has felt like I have been stuck in a hole unable to dig my way out.

Which is why I decided to share it, talking to my sister gave me relief, slowly I would bring it up with friends and tell them how I was feeling, and slowly I felt better. So I decided to be incredibly raw and truthful with loved ones, strangers, and friends through my blog. It is my passion to write, since I was little and this anxiety has taken this away from me, So I felt like what better way to get out of my hole, then share it with everyone. Although I don’t feel ready to have one on one conversations with everyone in my life, I know this is a step in the right direction, and that I just need to push myself to get out of my comfort zone even if it means feeling incredibly anxious. Baby steps.. before the baby.

I appreciate all who takes the time to read this, and I know that I am not alone dealing with these issues. My hope is that maybe it helps you and something that you are dealing with. May we not suffer alone.

xOx Chelsea